Fast forward Mother's Day 2012. Sure is happening, but what to wear for the picture and more importantly, what to write?
I decided last night that I would write about what I learned from this big word, Motherhood. I won't get overly sentimental because ;
1. I don't have a lot of time to write
2. I can not write sentimental--motherhood IS sentimental.
1. I learned that motherhood is OJT. On the job training. No amount of observing, learning and reading can prepare you for it. AND it is OJT without pay. OJT with much blunders but a whole lot of happiness.
2. I learned that Motherhood is competitive. I think parents, especially mothers should stop pushing their children too much. Dance lessons, piano, cheer leading, French class, public speaking and some other form of being competitive is a woos if you ask me. Sure, we need to prepare them and give them the advantage of better training, more exposure and make them well equipped to challenge the world but really... really? Let them be kids and let them show you the way to what they actually like. Stop being a stage mom. Yup, I am talking to myself.
3. I learned that I am patient. If you asked me before--- before these children came to my life, to describe myself--- patient would never come up. I am not patient. I am now-is-best personality. Although today, I still have my flare-ups, over all, I think I learned PATIENCE forcibly.
4. I learned that I can be a braggart. I brag about every single achievement of my children. 'Nuff said.
5. I learned to multi-task. Like-- big time multi-tasking. I have always been a multi-tasker but boy, this Motherhood thing puts you in a gear way beyond human comprehension. "Oh, there is dance lesson on Wednesday but make sure she goes to track and field first and I will call her cousin, maybe they can drop her off so that Josh will not wait for that long while working on his homework---wait, wait---- what about Kuya, aren't we suppose to pick him up before seven at the library? What, what check? You have not paid for the fee? Papa, Papa, turn off the stove will you?" Oh boy--- all these while looking for tht stupid work pager that keeps ringing and the landlord is calling the cellphone to let you know the rent is late--again. Wheew!
6. I learned that schedule is overrated. What schedule? it's more fun when we do random stuff especially on vacation week. Aside from established rules on the weekdays, I have no schedules to follow on weekends. I love it when we do NOTHING at all. I love it when we just watch NCIS reruns or How They Do It episodes. Yup, planning activities is a waste--and so I say. LOL.
7. I learned that the days are long but the years are short--and so is life. Soon, Pherry heads to high school. When did I become a high school momma? KC had her menstrual period last summer and Josh does not want me to help him shower anymore. Na-ah. The boys don't want me to bring them to the barber anymore nor do they ask for help in solving assignments, KC dresses herself up in "new fashion" and does not ask for my opinion, we go to the nail salon together and the boys wear boxers. Briefs are for oldies, they say. Ha! Boxers! My kids all use deodorant and the boys say.... "cologne Mom, not perfume" to me all the time. KC is not into pink anymore but into blues and some patterns. What's next?
8. I learned that no matter what I do, there will come a time they will hate me. Pherry hates me now when I say he needs to brush his teeth. Nope, he does not hate me because I tell him to brush his teeth but he hates me because he thinks I need not tell him. He just knows. Apparently. Sure, the kids will adore you so much and that you are the "bestest" mom in the whole wide universe and that you are never fat, you are always beautiful and you smell good all the time and they kiss you like there is no tomorrow--- but I can guarantee you, they will be at the age where everything you say is BAD. Or embarrassing. Or old fashioned. Or uninteresting. I don't know why. It just happens. Josh used to promise me that even if he gets accepted to a prestigious university but is far away, he will stay in Boston because he wants to be with me all the time. I cherish that. But I know it will change. You know why I know? Because Pherry said the same thing and now he wants to go to Cali for college or Europe. Why? To go as far away from me as possible. But I also know from my personal experience that this phase will soon give way to that strong emotion of longing to be with mom all over again. That comforting hug of Mom, the reassuring words she gives and the unconditional love ---- the warmth of a mother's love is everlasting.
9. I learned that I am fierce. Fiercer than I ever thought. No one can hurt my children. I can totally forget Fear if only to protect my children. Motherhood gives you that inner strenght you never thought you had. I will give every single ounce of strenght for my children. The bond between mothers and children is the strongest human bond they say. And I say, Amen.
10. I learned that I am learning. That I would never be perfect. That Motherhood is never meant to be practiced but rather, Motherhood is to be felt. I have had my share of mistakes and missteps and I learned from those harrowing nights. I am evolving as a person but I want to be a better person because I want Motherhood perfected in me. There is nothing more difficult than Motherhood. If there is one thing I would not like to fail--Motherhood it is. If being a mother is the only successful facet of my life, then I am successful. I need no other success.
My children are my treasures, you often hear people say. Indeed. The joys are immeasureable. The satisfaction you get from every 100% quiz is better than a 10% salary raise. My heart can not fathom the most wonderful feeling when I see my children tucked in safe at night. It is inevitable that someday they will spread their own wings that is why we should treasure them now. Not when they are all grown up, not when you have regrets. Now. Now when you are their champion.
Most of all, I learned that my heart can love so much. I never realized how much a human heart can love. One moment--Motherhood gives you that and all.
Mother---the most beautiful word in all languages. Happy Mother's Day everyone but most especially to my Inang who loves us unconditionally.
