I write this as I am lying down here early in the morning while looking at your handsome face--- while asleep.
Today, you turn 17 and as always, I asked you what you plan or want to mark this day. As always, you say, nothing, none, I'm good mom or let's just hang out. That pretty much sums how simple and beautiful your mind is.
As a young boy, you have the creativity of an artist, Lego and bricks are always strewn all over the floor as drawings of your superheroes and Manga characters lined the fridge. But you also have that always-on-the-go brain that needs to be fed with information. The library and Marbles store were your favorite place---- not the playground like most kids your age.
You were always there for me during tumultuous times of our life. You gave me every reason to hold on and carry on but mostly to march on and move forward. I cannot fathom, at your young age how you can be full of wisdom. Not many people know the wisdom you have and how you propelled me to higher level to make life a little easier. Most kids would have collapsed or hid on their shell.
Over the years, you have surprised me more. Remember the time you came home with a note that your essay was 3rd place? How about the time Mrs Witner told me when I picked you up from school that you were chosen to be one of the few kids to go to Milton Academy for their program? You have given me and your dad countless reasons to be proud parents. You hate being coached, you like to do things on your own--- you feel better with the awards if none of it comes from any help. In fact, you hate to be number one, if it meant I will make you study more and sleep less. Funny how during your middle school graduation, you never had any awards whatsoever. None. Not that I was expecting anything, but I was still so surprised when almost all the people I meet at your school seem to recognize that you're an absolute brilliant mind. But I should know, right? You are non-traditional. You like learning differently and if you have your way, you'd much rather have no award system.
While you were entering that teenager stage, it was difficult for me and you for so many reasons. We fought, we disagreed and we hurt each other along the way. But never did you disappoint me with anything, I want you to know that. I may say it sometimes but know that you never disappoint me. You always know your priority and I know deep inside you always want us to be proud of you. I remember when we went to your high school, the honor student line-up was posted and we looked for your name. We couldn't find you! Not in the honors and high honors. I wasn't disappointed, it was your first year in high school and I understand you could be grappling your way. Amidst the sea of Le, Li, Leung ( all brilliant kids), I see your name in the Distinction area. There you are, not honors mom, not high honors but distinction. It amazes me how even though your study style is always in question--- by me (hahahah), you excel. We've had endless argument when I tell you to sleep because you've been playing that LOL, which in the beginning you'd say " it's League of Legends,mom." Eh, punyemas, lagi na Lang and you'd just shrug your shoulder and make that look which then makes me angry more but one time you told me that I look like that when I am upset. So I guess we're even.
I've driven you to dances, banquets and other events in school, sometimes half-asleep. All memorable I must say and I know you know what I'm gonna say next--- picture! But you know what is so memorable for me? That day you learned to do your tie! You were so handsome and that day felt like it was the beginning of your young adult life. You were so ecstatic to tell me you finally did it. Honestly, I don't even remember what you were going out for, what just stands out from that memory is that TIE. I encouraged you to use other ties from then on, but you stick with that blue thrifted YSL tie. Oh, so handsome were you.
Last week, another phase in your life started. You'd tease me if I tell you, I hash tagged all our photos #pherrygoestocollege and #collegesearchIsOn. On our first day, we teased you because you were so dapper. And you just say, MIT. Hahahahah.
I wish you'd get in to your preferred college but if not, know that you shape you future, your vision is yours and your experience is your own doing. You can be as successful and happy wherever, I know that. I look at you during those college tours and for a moment or two, I shed tears. You have grown up so much already. Soon, you're in college! I'm already in tears as I write this, imagine when you're packing for dorms!
Im happy and excited and that convoluted emotions altogether. I'm happy for you because I know that happy feeling of venturing out in the world like it's all brand new, that the world is a new planet to conquer and that youthful strength tells you, you can do it. I'm excited for you, yes I am! I know you can do so much more and college is the time to know what you really want to be. Pherry, you do not have to be just one great THIS. You can venture and be everything you want to try. You are young, this is the time to experiment, to travel and to pick and choose the path. Also, the path doesn't have to be straight to the goal. That'd be boring. As long as you know your GOAL and the VALUES we taught you along the way, take any road, I know you'd be great.
As you turn 17, I am also scared and afraid. Most of your friends are now 18. I know you are a responsible young man but the world is your teacher too. I know you circle yourself with good kids like you, but you're 17! That's one hell of a time for young people like you. Please let me be your friend, let me be your confidant. I want you to make me your champ, your supporter and the go-to person whenever you have doubts and fears. I promise to be your friend when you need one and your parent when I have to.
The road to your life is long but it is bright Ahead of you, there's success waiting. There will be roadblocks as well as tidal waves, with your brilliant mind and simple joys and loving heart, it will be easy.
I always tell you and you may be tired of it and you may not want the Internet to know this but--- take the good ones only baby, leave the bad behind. Take the values I try to instill in you and the world is your playground.
Son, anak, on your 17th birthday, I bless you with the Lord's abundant blessing and wish you a successful life ahead. With a simple heart like you, succes is much different. I can see you huddled in the corner experimenting on something, creating a new phenomenon while your business partners figure out the financial part, all of which you have no interest whatsoever. I love you with all my heart, you are the role model of your younger siblings and anak, show everyone I am successful--- because anak, I have nothing, nothing at all but you. If you become a good Christian and good member of our community, then I am succesful. I always tell you anak, my only success is to see all of you successful in life-- live a fulfilled life. Be my first success anak. I love you.
Always,
Mama
