I have never cried so hard deeply more than when my father died until last night. The reasons are mixed and none any more than the other. Pherry made the decision last night to go to University of Massachusetts Amherst. I am very happy and elated that this prestigious public university has accepted him knowing how competitive college of engineering is. I don't know, I called Pherry down so I can talk to him but when I saw him, my heart just burst! I just started crying, like hard-core crying. I literally couldn't breath. My son, my first born just stood there, hugged me really tight and never said a word. We knew, we understood each other without saying anything. We both know what is in each other's hearts.
It's difficult to explain. I cried and I hurt for so many reasons. For sure I cried coz it is reality--- he is moving out! I won't have my first born around. I won't have my champion, my pride and my super wonderful son. He is simple, he wouldn't ask you to buy him anything. I have never had any major issues with him or his siblings but more so with him. I never had a difficult time raising him coz he was self sufficient and independent. In fact I long for days he would need me.
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