2010 List

Today is the 30th day of December. Tomorrow, the world will say goodbye to 2009. Which brings me the question, is it better to have a seamless transition to a new year, so that the life we run is uninterrupted or you desire it as a brand new start? Fair enough for a discussion, don't you think? I can tell you my preference, but you might have to buy me popcorn to discuss it.

Nevertheless, that is not what this entry is for. For the new year, a lot of people make new year's resolution. I made those too. Never worked. I feel like it was a curse list, bound to make me feel guilty or abandon my newfound strenght to evolve to a better version of me, an updated one, with the new softwares and gadgets. Bleech! It seems like the word resolution gives it a negative connotation. This year, I am making a list. I call it my 2010 list. This list will include all my desires for 2010, and hopefully, able to cross them off this long list as I am able to triumphantly emerge as the winner between the LIST and ME. The difference? Since it is a list of my goals, I can actually visualize it. It has nothing to do with regretting. It is more focused on attaining. So here goes my nemesis... I warn you, I will emerge victorious. Hopefully by December 2010, I can repost this entry and the LIST is totally crossed off!

Open letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

It's been years since I wrote to you. Growing up, I always wrote to you. I kept it hidden to everyone. It's not like other kids, who are asked to write their Christmas list, so that Santa will deliver the gifts just in time for them to see underneath the Christmas tree. Only, in my little world then, it was bayabas branch ( guava), meticulously chosen and wrapped in colorful crepe paper. I wrote every single year, never had the chance to show it to anyone. I pour my heart out everytime I write, then and now. Sometimes, I ask for a gift, sometimes my letter is just to write my plans, aspirations and changes I would want in my life, but mostly just some scramblings; until I lull myself to sleep. Santa, why do we grow up?  Do we have to?

I remember asking for a pretty dress for 3rd grade Christmas party. Well, my mother did buy me one, only to have every other girl in class have almost an identical design of the dress. One girl said I just copied her. She taunted me until it hurt. I did not cry, you see Santa, that was my defense. I ignored her to show that I did not care. But you see Santa, that was not fair. I did not even have a choice. My mother bought that for me, because it was cheap, we can afford it. Back then, it was painful. Now, I do not even know where that girl is. I hope she remembers me and hope she has a good life. You see, I think because of her, unintentionally, I became more concerned on my dealings with other people.

Santa, when i was young, I used to dream and boy, did I dream. Today, my son said his teacher told them, it's okay to shoot for the moon, for even if you won't hit it, you would still land with the stars. Pretty thought. I guess I did not shoot for the moon. But, I do have stars in my life. I have 3 little shining stars that warm my heart to bits. But Santa, it's difficult, you know, being a parent. Balancing my world for them is what I do, but sometimes the world tilts, unfavorably, I'm afraid. My dreams have not gotten me to the moon, not even close. I just wish that my kids will have a better shot at it, please Santa, please. I promise to guide and protect them. But Santa, that's all I can do, right? Hopefully, they will also write letters, to you and to me. My dreams are there, in a compartment of my life. They may or may not be fulfilled but the important thing is I dream. For what is life without dreams and aspirations?

Santa, I know it in my heart that my secret letters to you are keepers of my immense desires and longings in this world. I may not recall all of them, but I know they must be the same as the ones I desire now. Our dreams and wishes are what shape our future, right Santa? In different stages of our life, we desire the same things, but when you're younger, you desire them in it's simplest form. Life is more complicated now Santa. Sometimes I even think it is chaotic. But when it gets so tough, I retreat back and simplify it. You see Santa, it is not easy to simplify in my world now. Too many factors involved. Friends, work, family and other personal indulgence. Is it too much to ask you to just make all my life's complications disappear? Yes, like boom! Like a fresh slate, clean and squeaky white. But wait, no, not yet Santa. Hold on a bit!

I take that back Santa. I want my life in all it's blazing glory of mistakes, failures and few trickles of success and a whole lot of laughter. So, let me try that again... Santa can you just make the mean people and the bad situations vanish? Oh, I like that better. You can't? Santa, please. It's all or nothing? No selective memory vanishing? This is hard, Santa. I give up, you win again. I want my life. I love my life. I see you smiling Santa. So, ok I move on with my life just the way i did, choosing my battles wisely.

Soon, it will be Christmas. Santa, will you bring me my gifts? You know I like surprises but then, I want nothing anymore. Nothing you can buy at the store, at least. I am grown up now Santa. I want the more profound things in life. I want my family and friends' safety, continued good health and stable life. I can see you smiling Santa. But seriously, I want nothing more than the joy of childhood. You see, I like that, simple joy and genuine laughter. Can I have that? Yes, you say? Oh, thank you Santa!

Before i go, Santa, can I make one wish? No, it's not for me, but it will make me happy just the same. Can you make the kids devastated by the typhoons in the Philippines recently have a merry Christmas? I am sure you can. Thank you Santa.


Love lots,

Bernadette Ambiong
60 Loriga Gallarza St.
Punta Aparri Cagayan Philippines

Dear Fridah

Dear Fridah,

You know I love you and that you collect Barbies but can you please buy me this? Please pretty please?

Ain't she pretty for me?

Adorable Hershey's  sash.

I will forever be grateful to you. You know I do not like Barbie and could care less about chocolates but there is something about Barbie and Hershey's together. My birthday was last October but Christmas is 43 days away.

xoxo... I know you love me too. Kisses!

In Barbie's name,

Bads

My personal pet peeves

In between eating my adobo, checking facebook updates and getting hold of Hubby, I am compelled to share to you my pet peeves. As in... annoying stuff that could easily evaporate my good mood. We all have our own little ways and views, but what in the name of God, is that perfume? Lemme start! By the way, this is in no particular order.

1. Did I say I hate STRONG perfume?  The reason perfumes have spray ( or roll ons ) honey, is because you apply SPARINGLY! If it was meant to be poured, believe me, they would put screw caps. Are we clear on this?

2. I hate people who do not RSVP. Be it invites, phone calls, messages, voicemail and the likes. All you gotta do is respond! Be it... " So sweet of you to invite me,  I will definitely be there.", or "No way I am coming to see you , Bitch!", or if you are really avoiding the person, revenge is the way to go... call back when you know you can leave a voicemail yourself and say whatever!

3. I do not like annoying people who thinks they can broadcast their lives through the wonderful innovation called  phone. "Hi, are you sure? Are you at the mall yet? No, I am still here at  Stop and Shop. I need to buy sanitary napkins and buy Tinactin for my husband." Do I really need to know you are having your menstrual visit and that your husband have alipunga? ( for my non Filipino readers, athlete foot). Goodness gracious. I will let you in on another  great innovation... text messaging. Try it sometimes when you feel like telling whoever, your most recent  rhinoplasty has gone bad. Seriously, do you really need to talk so loud like I need to know?

4. I hate it when someone always look over on my computer screen or what's on my iPhone ( or blackberry to some) . Guess what, you can ask me, do not hurt yourself by twisting and bending too much just to see what I am typing. I call these people, "Leanovers". If you need to lean over to see the screen, don't! Gosh, your eyeballs are falling off from its peripheral socket!

5. Bad breath. Bad breath. Bad breath.

6. Kids wearing adult clothes? Please! Do not adulterate your children. Believe me, you would not want them adulterate themselves later, why would you now? It is not cute. It is not cute. It is not cute. The mall is not the place for role playing, neither is the church or the local grocery shop! Mother daughter matching is good, but daughter wearing mother's, big NO. Worse is, mother wearing what her daughter should wear. Micro mini is not good at 50, even if you have Tina Turner legs. You understand me? Are we good here?

7. I hate it when waitstaffs refer to everyone as "you guys". Whatever happened to " Are you ready to order?" I would take that anytime than, " you guys ready?" I know it may sound cool and new but if want to be youguys for the night, i would stay home and youguys my kids, know what I  mean, you guys?

8. I hate it when someone presumes ( or assumes) THAT i AM STUPID BECAUSE I have an accent! Yes, I have an accent but I am not stupid. Recently, Kevin Freedman ( yes, man, I will blog about it every chance I get), thought I was stupid, I asked him to spell his name for my job and he said K (8 seconds) E, another 8 seconds V, V as in Victory,  I, yet another 8 seconds N. Ke-Vin! Ke-vin! After that he murmured, "stupid" and hanged up the phone. I called him back and I gave him the lecture of his life. All my life, being Promdi ( from the province), Manilenos think my Tagalog is so "matigas". Yeah, it must be! I am Ilocano, why, can you speak Ilocano the way it should be? I thought so! Lesson... it is okay to think it sounds funny, even cute when someone has  an accent  but never assume that because of it,  he/she is stupid. That may very well be the case but more often than not, it isn't.

9. I hate it when people brag too much because of their titles. Atty. Soman Do, Engr. Mali Kaman, Dr. Taran Tado and the likes. The same thing goes with Legal Officer 3, Management Trainee4 (whatever level that is, trainee ka pa rin!). I understand, use these official designation with business and official communications. When writing to your friends, please use your personal email unless necessary! I respect and admire achievement but to brag it to me, get lost. It takes more accomplishments if that is the case. Better yet, let me discover it myself, isn't it grander when I say," I didn't know you were a rocket scientist, wow!" I think I should delete number 9. Should I? Delete, delete not.

10. I do not like fake people. Fake friends. Fake smiles. Fake, fake fake! You may not like me but at least I am real. WYSIWYG! Pretentious! I laugh loud, that is another person's pet peeve, I'm sure but do not say otherwise. Say it. In my face. Straight. It is better.

I can add more to this list but for now, this is it! Now, boys and girls I need to submit some paper works so I can claim back my Bernadette A. Llaga, MT(H) ASCP designation that expired September 2009.

Writer's block

I'm on it! Actually, I am trapped!  What happened to writer's diarrhea?

KC

KC is growing! Here are a few shots I took last Sunday!

She is sweet and very dedicated to school. She likes to draw and design, role playing as a teacher. I think she will make a great teacher!

This is my Aparri, my hometown

Feeling nostalgic maybe because of my sister's recent visit here in COLD Boston, I am writing about my little coastal town of Aparri. Growing up there, you never spend time alone. It was a real community. Looking back now, I am amazed on how  little things can make me happy. I am talking little things. Like, just walking in the hot sands to the beach, flying homemade kites, playing" turumpo", playing under the rain, climbing the "lugo" tree, playing "sungka" and my favorite... just plain hide and seek.

Turumpo

Turumpo is made of wood, a tiny a cone-shaped toy that can be made to spin.

Homemade kite or saranggola. Since we were poor, ours was made of plastic grocery bags, some bamboo and "sinulid" or nylon. 

Here are Aparrianos playing sungka. Photo courtesy of adegarcia@wordpress.com.

Mind you, this is the real one. In the full moon, dark night and vast neighborhood to roam and hide. You see, in my little paradise, you can still see the sky, as bright as it should be, without any sky pollution... you know, those annoying satellites, too many airplanes hovering and giant billboards. I love taguan or hide and seek. It is so much fun! Then you can go to sleep soundly after that.

"Tagu taguan, maliwanag ang buwan" ( Hide and seek the moon is bright). Tama ba?

Oh, the joy of childhood. Our little fishing village seems to be extra  special too. We are surrounded by water! We have the Cagayan River, touted as the longest river in the Philippines and the China Sea. Our town's unofficial slogan is " Where the River meets the Sea."  Aparri delta boasts a windy experience because here in Aparri, lies the Cagayan River's mouth. If you choose serene swimming in a river, go! If you want the rough waves of the ocean, you can too! It is a paradise for water babies like me. In fact, it is the favorite stop for the summer of the whole province! No one can make that claim in the whole Cagayan! Although it does not have white sand beaches, it has these grayish, fine granular characteristic, and the beach line seems to go on and on. If  I am not mistaken, only in Aparri can you find gakka, little edible shells where you just pour hot water, little bit of salt and presto! A yummy treat!

Water breakers

Always a pleasure to walk in these sands, you never know what you will find.

...beautiful sunset. you shoud see the sunrise! heavenly!

You would always see fishermen take a walk to scout the waters. For some reason, they have the skills to know when it is good to go fishing.

 And here, my friends is gakka, the male variety. i have yet to discover it's scientific name!

This is the way commercial gakka catchers do it. Me? I just wait for the waves to  pull back, press my foot on the sand, if I see a tiny hole, presto... gakka!

The colorful bancas. We call them barangay--- ba-ra-ngay!

My family happens to own bancas for fishing purposes. This brings me to what makes me so happy I was born there! I love seafood!  I love seafood! Did I say, I love seafood? I do! We always get the freshest catch of the day. Swordfish, shrimps and tanigue abound. In fact, Hubby was grossed out when he saw me eating what we call the "jumping salad". It's fresh shrimps, still alive and jumping, pour sugarcane vinegar, chilli ( siling labuyo) and a dash of salt. Eat! I super duper love it. Same goes with squid salad. We make ours simple. Slice squid into bits including the head part, vinegar, siling labuyo, and onions!

The "pusit" in Aparri is delicious, chewy but not rubbery and a hint of sweetness. They change  colors too. For real! Depending on how light strikes, it's purple, bluish, reddish and array of colors abound.

We use these "sili" to flavor anything!

Prawns are the variety most likely to be available in Aparri. My sisters and I love eating little shrimps as our "jumping salad". Eating it this way we inherited from our Tatang!

Busy weekend

Lotsaa things went on this weekend. I know I have a lot to talk about.  A lot of messages from FB, more notifications and tons of voicemail. I will be right back in to regualr programming maybe in a day or two. Meanwhile I leave you  with this cute Madonna audition  video for Fame in1982. Yes, my dear... Madonna auditions!

My baby Josh is growing!

joshuateeth, originally uploaded by llaga22.

Joshua surprised me this morning! He jumped into the bed and gladly announced that his tooth is "wiggling". " Mom, see my teeth is loose now!" I was so happy because he always asks how come his teeth are not loose yet when he is already in first grade. So, I guess that makes him a boy.... not my baby anymore! Hope they stop growing. these babies of mine. hehehe!

Josh is a skyscraper

Since the school prohibits costumes on Halloween, the teachers become creative as to what the kids could do nearing the Halloween. For Josh' class, she decided to make their spelling words interpreted as attires appropriate for their age. The note that came home asks the parents to spend little or no money to prepare. The important thing is that the kids will enjoy and know the meaning of the words as they will be parading around the school and other kids will ask who they are and what does it mean. They had a list of words but Josh picked SKYSCRAPER. I asked him why and he said because he wanted to be different. He said, am sure no one would want to be a skyscraper. Talk about individuality.... my son is too young! Hahhhah.

As with everything, we are all involved. Problem... how to interpret skyscraper? This is what we did.

Hubby doing what he does best! Drawing and anything that has to do with it.

We stayed up late ( 1 AM) to finish it. He said he can not finish it because I did not tell him the concept. What concept? He is 1st grade! But, I guess that's how engineers work. You got to have a plan and a concept to execute your idea. Maybe that is why I am a medical technologist, I just work!

This is the skyscraper. More work needed.

All I needed to do was create a shadow effect, so it looks like it is seen from the bottom, like you were standing at the base of the building. By the way, we used cardboard-cum-styrofoam in sky blue so that it will have a sky backdrop! After all the conceptualizing, here is what we got.

Kuya showing Josh how to put it on when in school.

As I said, everything we do is a family affair. While Kuya was helping Josh, KC is actually trying to check if she can make a hat that will look like an antenna on top of the building. We needed to remind her that no hats are allowed in school, not even costumes. Silly, I know but after all those crazy school shootings, I err on the side of safety.

This is the front of the building.

Hubby made a 3 building structure, the middle being the tallest. Notice the right building, it has steam belching out! Our own version of cityscape view. I did not do a good job taking picture of the details. The left building has the antenna, few clouds hovering the main building and Hubby made a helicopter! I wish I did a better job with the pictures.

Here is the back of the building, in 3D. Clear blue sky! Hehheh!

Over all, I think we did great. The only thing is, I was not allowed to go to school. It would have been fun to see the other kids interpreting words such as fatigue, courage and discipline. Wheeew! Good thing, he is SKYSCRAPER! Bottom line, I guess it is more fun to make your own costume, cheaper and  more family bonding! So, go ahead conceptualize your Halloween costume and create the best one!

Sunday night concert

While looking for another spot for leaves  peaking and some more photoshoot, Hubby got a call from one of our "children",( we have 5, by the way. Iris, Ann, Errah, Venice and Dominic). Free tickets for David Foster's The Hitman concert! It features, Debra Cox, Reuben Studdard of American Idol, a few of his other  up and coming stars. Of course, there's Philippines' very own, Charice. She is this phenomenal girl,  with a beautiful and powerful voice. She has been featured in shows such as Ellen, Oprah an Good Morning America, to name a few. She just released a single " Note To God", which I heard was a top iTunes download for a time. Here's her performance at Oprah.

Here she is, performing at Boston University's Agannis Arena!

Look at these concert goers! They were very impressed! They were going gaga!

Goosebumps moment!

I knew she had a beautiful voice, I've seen her performances on American TV and TFC ( the Filipino channel), but I will tell you this... nothing I have ever imagined to describe her voice and the performance level she has would have done justice to this moment! She is phenomenal! I was truly impressed. I am so proud to have followed her way before Oprah! I was so happy to be there on that very moment, as a Filipino!

Ok now, I would be lying if I said i only went for Charice. It was a big bonus that Peter Cetera was there! THE Peter Cetera, was performing on the same stage as Charice and David Foster, with free tickets. This is gratitude overload!

I have loved him since Chicago!

With hits such as You're The Reason, Hard to Say I'm Sorry, Glory of Love and After All, I grew up loving his mellow music. He has aged but not the voice. Smooth and suave! When there was a quite interlude in his performance, I could not stop myself from shouting " I love you Peter"!  Oh, I am back to the '80s! No, wait! I am stuck on the 80's.

Thank you to my friends... Kuya Jerome, Ate Fridah and Ate Venice for putting up with my old love! Till next concert! Busy Sunday indeed! I love you Boston!

Apple picking in New Hampshire

Last Sunday, I had a blast! Aside from the regular relaxation attributed to weekends, we had plans for fall foliage and apple picking with friends. I always look forward to fall foliage. I love fall. Ok, let me rephrase that, i love fall but summer is still my favorite. We went up to New Hampshire's Apple Hill Farm. Not as impressive as Belkin Lookout Farm in Natick MA, but beautiful nonetheless. What makes any outing fun is the company, I believe... naks! So, in that category, it was a blast. First, apple picking, which is more like apple tasting and picture taking. Everyone had their cameras. I had to make sure I look great in every angle... not that I look great. I don't.  Period. You know me.. I edit my pictures before it goes online...heheheh! This time of year, it is a little late for the season but there were still  a lot, they said that this year is the best crop in 23 years but the rains on the weekend has stopped apple pickers, so apples were a plenty!

My kids at Apple Hill Farm Concord NH

These are sweet!

Here, husband thought it was nice to be inching up on the branches!

KC's signature pose!

Behind her is a pretty pond, very picturesque! I took a few shots for my keepsake. So serene, very clear skies and clear blue water.

There are 2 lift like structures that the kids and my not so young friends enjoyed!

Just to show you how much apple left for picking. This tree is unbelievably  loaded!

Up close. It seems that every inch is fruit bearing. It is also very tasty. I forgot what it's called. Maybe one of m very few readers can identify these apples. It is a delight to see, especially for someone who grew up in the Philippines. Poor as we are, we only get to have apples during the holiday season!

Here 's one of my shots of the pond. I know, I need to improve my skills. It is a photographer's dream.

The whole thing is a photographer's dream. Everyone is smiling, the scenery is lush with tinges of yellow and orange leaves, the sky is as blue as you can imagine, add that with a crisp Fall weather.. Perfect!

Here's me with my ever smiling friends. I remember sayinng we should not be looking at the camera, what happened? We are too self conscious, that's what!

Focus on the background. Isn't it lovely?

The 2 previous pictures are just to show you how the pond can be the most beautiful backdrop for your Fall shoots! It was just  delightful. It helped that the sky was clear.

To complete the farm look, ( by the way, this is a fully functioning farm, year round), there are tractors and this farmhouse. Going up the hill, to the orchard, this farmhouse is what you see. Very country. 

We took a hayride from the farm store up to the hill.  I don't have a picture of that moment, but it was a hayride minus the hay. I am thinking, maybe they have all those real hayrides for the kids. Speaking of the farm store,  a pound of apples is only $1.25! It offers free tasting of their home baked  muffins and breads, plus the warm and fresh apple cider. It sure does taste good and warms the heart. Imagine this and a not too chilly sunny day... ahhhh, Fall! Only in New England.

These girls are amazing. Fun!

Before you get picture overload, I leave you with this family picture!

Happy!

Smile everyone.. the world is only as beautiful as how you look at it! Here are videos of us!

Apple Picking in New Hampshire (Part 1) from vinceter on Vimeo.

Apple Picking 2009 in New Hampshire (Part 2) from vinceter on Vimeo.

Today's joy

It is always awesome to hear some good news, but nothing beats news from my children. As everyone knows, Christopher won the citywide essay competition in 2 consecutive years.

Chris and Quincy mayor ( Phelan in 2007)

He was 3rd place in the 3-4th graders' category. I was so happy. Well, more than happy. The following year, he won 2nd place in the 5-6th graders category. He was not very happy about it, but we were. This year, I was not expecting him to be in the race again because he is so busy. He is in the AP ( advance placement class) 6th grade, in a new school. A couple of days ago, he told me that his essay was chosen by his homeroom teacher as a contender for the 6th grade in his school. The principal has yet to decide which among the 6th to 8th graders' essay will be sent as official entry by the school to the City School Committee, who picks out the winner among all the city schools. No big deal for him. Big deal for me... I am a sucker for awards, remember?

Today, my daughter's teacher approched to congratulate  me on KC's essay. See, my daughter worked hard for it. She is so pressured, knowing that Big Bro won it 2 times. Hubby and I always tell her, she can do it, maybe even outdo him. She would not listen, of course. But, on the weekend, she asked me if I could read what she wrote. I was impressed. I tried to "edit" the missspells and repetitive words and wrong fragmenting... but later, I realized, she is in 3rd grade!! They are probably more concerned on the content than composition! So, I let it go!

I am very, very happy today. Being shortlisted for the competition is good enough for me. I will update maybe 2 weeks from now. I promise, no matter what the outcome is. I am praying for KC's entry more though! She needs the boost, middle child syndrome, you know!

Blog migration

I have created so many blogs over the years that my files are so scattered. Now, I decided to put them all here in one spot. Some of the posts are so old, I guess it would not make sense anymore. I linked the original posts so at least you know how long they have been lurking. So, by this I promise ( to myself), I will write more often, update regularly and visit more. Sorry if the timeline is so whacked.

Update in my life (April 2006)

I am "happy" as in happy.
Don't ask why.
I am just happy.
I am hoping that it will stay like this forever but I know that it won't. guess what though, at least i am deciding on my own. Now i can truly say that i am truly in control. As long as I am not stepping in someone else's toes, i will not break. i am willing to compromise so I won't break. i am definitely in tune with my life. I have the kids, gym ( hehe), stable career (?), tons of wonderful friends. Speaking of friends, finally I have come to the point in my life where I have enough good friends here in the States that I can say, I am back to my old self. Funny, cheerful and full of energy.


It has been a very long journey and a very painful episode in my life, but hey, here I am again. Welcome the new ME!!!




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Exam (May 28th 2006)

Busy preparing for THE EXAM… (American Sociey of Clinical (psycho hehhe) Pathologist certification for Hematology….) not that I am mortified but it is more like … I- am so-not-into-this-right-now-so-God-bless-me period of my life.


I am so not into it… why not Chemistry? Dunno. Duh! Who wants to study anemias and leukemias right now? HUHUHU.


‘Nways, this is life. East Coast summertime is PRECIOUS and here I am buried in books… literally… because I have a lot of materials but am too lazy to read.. or touch up of whatever-is-inyour-brain-right-now-should-be-fine data.


So… summer and here Iam … basically WASTED!


Clubhouse pool opened, great summer fashion (show some skin… and fat), people on the street with good attitudes (you know winter makes people grumpy here in Boston heheh), summer vacations… No planning because of the MONSTER!!!
HUHUHU!




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One Liner ( MArch 30 2006)

"Although we can not have all we love, we can still love what we have."


True… truly… convince me more! Hehhhe.




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Life worthwhile

"The purpose of life is not just to live it, but to have something worthwhile to live for."

I have been struggling  to fight the urge of commenting to this one liner but, hey here I am. I do not apologize for the melodrama and the angst of my writing to day. Nor, do I need to explain any further what my mediocre expression in writing can surmise to expand.

We always hear
" purpose of life"

What is it though? There are countless materials we can dig into to nourish our thirsty " dry -tap" brains. In fact if you google ( yes, I use google) " purpose of life" you come up with thousands of pages and websites.. from scientifc to religious to pathetically sadistic attack on the supposed purpose of "it".

... to be continued... kinda too early to be thinking this road hehhe!

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Why? Love?

Why me? Why them? Why ?

Why not?

I have this one liner…  my own one. " Follow the dictates of your heart, somehow the mind will accomodate what the heart desires." Isn’ it true? Loving does not need to be an intelligent choice, all it has to be is a  genuine recognition of yourself and the other person. You do not have to think so many preconceived
notions dictated by society, nor should it be a powerplay of  what you want and what makes you happy.

What makes you happy is not necessarily the popular thing for others. Will the void be filled when you follow the norm?

I am not antagonistic with society’s view, do not get me wrong. It is just that most of the time, it is unthinkable! Give you a few thoughts to support my view. People want you to love the ….. BRB…

I guess I have to finish this... it has been so long ago, that I forgot what I was leading to... so let's just forget about it.

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Fil Pride

"Manny Pacquiao dominates Larios infront of countrymen", thus says the Associated Press. Illustrated Sports puts it this way... " Unbeatable Pacman wins infront of whole nation."

I am a Filipino and proud of it. There is no way, I would hide I am a Flip ( ooopss).
Be it the Smokey Mountain, the corrupt government officials, the dirty sidewalks, the againts-the-wall-urinating ( hahha),  the polluted Pasig River, the spaghetti electric wires, the inhabited overpass, the noisy balikbayan box trotting OFW, the taxi swindler, the computer tech. infecting the whole world with that " viscious virus", crippling even the White House, truly,there may be more " offending" things that will reverbirate across to put Filipinos down, but there is nothing that can put my head down nor make me embarassed to declare to the world that I am a Filipino.

I will not go back to history anymore to prove my point. Currently, there are are so many things that make me proud. To name a few...in sports, Manny Pacquiao, Monique Lhullier in fashion, so much more out there who are trying wholeheartedly to bring the very best of the Filipinos to the world.


To be continued.... break time over... soryy I only do my blog on my work break... very Filipino.

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Portrait 07

 There would never be a moment in my life where I am not at my proudest talking about my kids. They are my greatest possession, or as KC would say, " treasure". They had a portrait session week before easter Sunday, boy were they beautiful. I am a totally fulfilled human being when it comes to my motherly status. I may not be the best, but to my kids, I am the most beautiful, to me they are my everything, the reason for my existence.

I was watching a TV show where an officer wanted to put to jail a son who was abusing the mother. The mother  was covering for her son, that is why they can not  prosecute him. The officer made a way for the son to be put away to jail for different reasons other than the abuse because they can not prove the abuse without the mother's collaboration. Long story short, the mother confronted the officer, the officer said that now, she can live her life, without fear, without abuse and most of all, away from her son who abuses her. The mother replied, " what life?"

For me, life without my kids is unthinkable. I have yet to think of it.

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Milestones

I have not blogged for a very long time. I have no excuse for that. Not that I was planning to make up an excuse. I guess my last entry was my sister's 50th birthday celebration. I have written a lot  of  materials ( for my personal enjoyment) and have joined public speaking contests but it is funny to say that it still felt surreal. Once again I had this adrenaline rush that is wanting to let go, like a thunderous, dark night that could not wait for the glorious  morning. I had so many ideas, topics and  a convolution of all things beautiful. I did not know what to say. I felt all I say is nothing compared to the exceptional life my sister leads.
So, for a very long time, I did not want to write, not even when I am aching to do so.  I do not consider myself a prolific writer, needless to say, I am far from that. There is just something in me that loves to express what is within the anals of my overly crowded, chaotic brain. Sometimes, I start with something and end up with seemingly unrelated topic. It frustrates me enough that I would scrap the whole written material. I have written a dark, open missive to everyone, something that I personally believe is written very well, but I can not share it to you now because it would not make sense. After all it was meant to be known when all have seen and understood me. Suffice to say, that will not be in the near future.
Milestones seem to make you melodramatic, if not overly sensitive altogether. Most of us have been through a lot of milestones. I know my 13th birthday will forever be the standard of my milestones. No, I did not celebrate my teenage with a big celebration, nor it started a different way of life. It's just that I have looked forward to it much of my childhood, that I believe I lost my childhood looking forward to teen life. Sweet sixteen was not much of a big deal for me, not even the 18th birthday which is more of the bigger day for ladies in the Philippines. I am the champion of "why-should-I-spend-so-much-when-so-many-are-starving", so I had to live my life in its simplest form. To many, especially parents, graduation is a milestone. It seems that graduation from college to some extent does not only mean that... a degree. There is so much more to it. Pride, honor and social achievement. In fact, it is a fulfillment, not only to the graduating individual but to the family as a whole, or it can also be a realization of a dream not achieved in the past. Weddings, weddings, weddings.... it is a social event, a ceremonial toast, but most of all, it is a milestone. It calls for the grandest dress, the most beautiful flowers, and the most important guests. It seems the higher the position of the guests in politics and society, the more the wedding is talked about in the social radar!
But, let me not dwell so much into milestones of the so called norm. For if I have to discuss everything in this facet, it will include a whole new meaning to my intended writing. It will include promotions, travels, divorce and all that we can imagine, on our personal experiences and whatever we consider milestones in our real world, in fact, I consider my first travel to Manila as milestone... Tagalog ba naman ang salita? Milestone talaga!
I am 32 now, I have so much more to experience, I know. At the same time, I have owned so much years in this life that I can proudly say I have wisened enough to claim some authority in my life. Let me share to you what has become my milestones, everyday milestones if we can categorize it as such. My children will tell you what my milestones are. In fact Christopher, my eldest says he " should" be my favorite for the sole reason that he is my first child, therefore, HE MADE ME A MOM. That is a milestone! What could be greater a milestone than the experience of motherhood. Let me not sugarcoat childbirth. It is a magical experience, we often hear. We have read so many materials regarding the beauty of childbirth, the life changing twist of it. Lest, we forget it is also a total sacrifice and awfully painful experience. Yet, I agree, it is a beautiful, indescribable feeling. It is a euphoria of all emotions, a simulation of life and death. So, yes!  Milestone number one... MOTHERHOOD. I can not, even with the thesaurus beside me, extract enough words and meaningful emotion to actually write  to do justice to this great word,  MOTHER. I remember a  worldwide survey, regarding the most beautiful English word. The run away winner of course, MOTHER. What a sweet word, beautiful indeed!
In between motherhood and my 32nd birthday there are many milestones. First day of school was great for my kids. I took so many pictures, all pictures combined for  preschoolers. So, it has been a roller coaster ride. Flying to the United States will always be a milestone. One of the most difficult decision in my life. You see, a lot of folks would prefer to come to the US, not me. No, no. Do not get me wrong. I do want to see the US, but I never really imagined myself living abroad. As I have mentioned, I prefer a simple life. Friends and family around me, that makes me complete. Traveling is a priority in my to do list. I have never imagined to be away. In fact, the reason I did my internship at the Fort Boniface Hospital is because I want to be commissioned in the Army. But, family and love prevailed. My husband is in the US, so my family should be. So, my friends, I have to decide not only for my future but my children. It has been a good life over all. Life is what we make it. It was difficult the first few years. In fact, the mere meeting of friends have elicited a "milestone" feeling in me.
Recently though, there have been little milestones in my life. KC turned 7, I decided this is a very important part of her life. I organized a big party for her. I invited all her classmates in kindergarten and first grade, all my personal friends who have been instrumental with my family. I bought a beautiful dress fit for a princess, a pair of shoes more expensive than mine, a shawl, a crown and everything a girl wants. It was a successful event. Almost everyone showed up, well, at least the people that mattered. Then, school started September. A month or so into the new school year, I have  experienced another milestone. Christopher, my eldest, received an academic scholarship to join the Saturday classes at Milton Academy. In their website, it states that the scholarship is awarded to gifted children who otherwise would not be able to afford the Milton Academy matriculation. Of all the fourth graders in Lincoln - Hancock Community School, he was chosen. You see, this is a community outreach program of the elite boarding school. Our city, Quincy is alloted for 4-6th grades. So, the whole of Quincy my son is one of the few chosen by the school committee to harness his innate talent.  Although each town is alloted a number of spots, teachers do not necessarily recommend just anyone to fill the spot. A student has to demonstrate academic excellence and curiosity and the willingness to learn more. Courses include architecture, spy and photography. They try to cover all interests that would otherwise be ignored either because of lack of teachers, time or finance. In fact, Ms. Hunter approached me and told me she wanted to tell me the news herself, that she thinks Christopher deserves to be that student for the year. With this opportunity, he has secured a spot till the 6th grade. This milestone would be hard to follow, my husband Chris, even shed tears after the news.
But, lo and behold! Last week, I went to pick up Carmina from school early because she was throwing up.... oh yes, did I tell you staying in the lobby of the Philippine Heart Center for 2 nights and 3 days is a milestone? Yes, tending to sick children is! There was a dengue epidemic at that time when Christopher had a bad case of pneumonia, boy he was not even 2 months! There was no room available, I believed my pediatrician so much, I did not want to be in anybody else's care, so I have  to bear the pain of staying in the lobby. I am glad, nothing catastrophic like that happened again. back to KC throwing up, while I was at the school's office, Kc's teacher congratulated me. I was surprised, but I just kept my wondering to myself. Exiting from the school, Miss Royal, Christopher's 3rd grade teacher congratulated me... again? So I finally asked? " Well, the school just announced that Chris is one of the students whose essay was picked to be considered for the essay writing competition citywide." We just have to wait, if he could be one of the top three, because out of all the entries from all students, 10 are chosen from each category, then they will pick the top 3 from that. I was already proud, just for that.
Three weeks later, we heard the good news! Although not the first place, Chris was 3rd place in his category. 5th graders beat him to it. Well, not bad. In fact I was totally floored. This time, I was able to see his winning essay. You see, they wrote the essay by themselves in school, so there was really no outside help. The topic? The Importance of Quality Education. Everything else in the essay was awesome, But I love the last sentence, " Quality education is important because you see if all kids have quality education it will greatly improve all our lives and the whole country." What a great citizen.
As apparent ( would blatant do? ) as it is, my life is totally different now. Maybe not. Maybe just what highlights my day is different. If going to the Sangria-La Mall was a highlight before, going to PTA meetings do now. If going to Luz facial Care  to do  rituals of beauty was the day's top on the to do list, now it is making sure that my kids doctor appointments  won't clash with dance lessons or any other activity. I literally was very much focused on myself. I am provided with all that I need. I did not have to buy my Guess shoes, my sisters did. I did not have to envy people waddling in the famed hotels of Manila, my sister Joy made sure I was socially visible. I did not have to vie (buy, would do to other people)  for attention, my Ta tang was proud enough for me. So I guess, my life is different, my children made it that way. They made it more satisfying and worth living.
I never imagined that a little Boy's essay would make me cry. I am a very critical person when it comes to writing, be it the sentence composition or the grammar. Be wary of wrong spellings, I hate it! Yet, I cried when I saw his essay. Sprinkled with grammatical  errors, I ignored it. I was focused with the content. Yes, I am humbled. Sometimes, we do not have to be so greatly critical of little things such as where to place the comma, but should look at the entire content or if we are referring to friends, to look at the whole person and not focus with the little imperfections, in fact it's what make it totally beautiful.
My life is full of surprises, sometimes, too much to bear. Pressures of work, joys of A ( A minus is unacceptable), crazy schedules, dizzying double shifts, piled up bills, shopping galores and endless karaoke parties. Life is full of ironies. Just when you feel down, a smiling Joshua comes. Just wen you think you have reached the glass ceiling, you go higher than the stratus clouds up in the bright blue sky! My life is a beautiful, not perfect but fulfilling. I have a long way to go. But as long as I keep my "milestones" to what matters in life, then it will simplify my world. Why do I need more anyway? I do not need expensive chinas, 60 inch HDTV, a month long vacation to Europe, nor do I need a visit to Dr. Belo! I am contented with what I have. Occasionally, we hear sighs, but that is life. We are exposed to the material world and there is nothing wrong with all that I mentioned. If it is what makes someone happy, then go for it. Someday, I will soon shift focus. Isn't that life? A cycle of carefree living to responsibility. We have to have it all.
My milestones may not be your idea of milestones. But, sharing an ice cream cone the beginning of Spring with KC is a milestone, spending an hour at the Barnes and Noble with Christopher without buying anything is one, watching the Animal Planet with Josh munching granola is definitely one too! These are my milestones now. I do not have to wait for a life changing event to label it a milestone, or a special person worth putting out expensive china for, or the Leaning Tower of Pisa as a background for my pictures, I take pictures all the time. My favorite is Chris and KC holding hands while walking! What a shot!
For everyone, life's  greatness need not be the next milestones. Life's essentials are! Make life as milestone itself. What could be more remarkable than life?
Ciao!

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Since then, he has won another competition,  and tested for IQ.. let me not start with that!